There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
