Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
