THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
