Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize