This dress was meant to end up on your floor
this just has baby written all over it
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
