Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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