my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
