I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
he puts the penis in happiness.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
