HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
