i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
