Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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