one two three fourrrrnication!
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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