you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
