Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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