The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Sext me about skeletons
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
