man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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