Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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