Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
