I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
