one two three fourrrrnication!
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Mom said you looked used
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Randomize
