My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
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I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
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I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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