All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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