just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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