we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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