she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
wanna go halves on a baby?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
