I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Someone came in the potted fern
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
