Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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