why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
