we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
pop tarts are not kleenex
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
