he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize