Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
