Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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