remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
