absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
