i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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