My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
