Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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