so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
this beer tastes like vomit already
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize