I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
