we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
