Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
