Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
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