he puts the penis in happiness.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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