Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
