i don't like sucking hair
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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