I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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