Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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