Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
