God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
