My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i barfeds in our rink
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
