at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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