please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
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