The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
