And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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