Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
