never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize