I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
