Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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