hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
