nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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