im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
