I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
