Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
She said her name was "party"
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
