Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
